new year, new york

"i look out the window and i see the lights and the skyline and the people on the street rushing around looking for action, love, and the world's greatest chocolate chip cookie, and my heart does a little dance." -nora ephron

2016 has officially rolled around, which means—and i can't believe it—that i've been living in new york for a year now. i am so in love with this city and wouldn't have wanted to spend the last year anywhere else.

2015 was definitely hard. being unemployed for a while totally sucked, as did moving far away from my sisters and all of my friends. but mostly, 2015 was very, very cool. i figured out what i really want to do with my life and career, i made new friends and was visited by lots of old ones, and i got to see my parents more times than in the last five years combined. i met my favorite celebs, saw broadway shows, tv tapings, movie premieres, and concerts, waited in cronut lines, toured museums galore, and ate my weight in pizza and bagels. i got to know new york intimately and feel how living here has made me more driven, confident, and independent.

i am also very grateful that my career plans have started to really fall into place. i worked crazy hard all year and it feels amazing for that to finally be paying off. i have been enjoying working at j. crew and was so excited when they moved me to the bridal team. i am loving it so far. i was also thrilled to land a book publicity internship at w. w. norton that will start later this month. i can't wait to learn the ropes and see where the opportunity takes me.

i always love new year's and the feeling of a fresh start. i'm so looking forward to everything ahead in 2016 and am so happy to be sticking around in this city. i love that new york feels like home and that i get to grow as a person and build a life for myself here. here's to all good things this year!

take care

this year i am really trying to take good care of myself. last year was really crazy and chaotic. i was so overwhelmed with school and work and life that i didn't take very good care of myself or my body. now that my life is much calmer, i'm trying to make up for that and do things that make me feel really good. these are the goals i'm working towards this year.

plan meals.

during school i would never plan my meals ahead of time. lots of times i forgot to eat or i would find myself eating the most random foods at the most random times. looking back, my eating habits were a lot worse than i even realized. now my schedule is much more routine and i have a lot more free time, so i'm trying to be very intentional about what i eat and when. planning my meals ahead of time makes me really excited to grocery shop and cook. it's still not easy, but it's become something i really enjoy doing every week. it's also less wasteful. before planning my meals i would buy produce and an embarrassing amount of it would go bad in the fridge.

eat healthier.

i'm not a fan of dieting, and even the thought of cutting out whole food groups makes me very sad, so i'm finding a version of eating healthy that works for me. basically i am trying to cook with lots of fresh and nutrient-rich ingredients, mostly vegetables. and drink a lot of water. i am also halfheartedly trying to eat fewer sweets, but i live in new york, home of levain bakery and doughnut plant, so "trying" is a loose term.

exercise more.

exercising at all would basically accomplish this goal, as i pretty much never worked out during my last semester. i really miss going to the gym, and i want to get back into a regular exercise routine. new york has so many fun fitness classes and i want to try a variety of them.

read more.

both last year and the year before i set a goal to read thirty books, and i am sad to say that i never hit that number. during the semester i would start reading book after book but just didn't have the time to finish very many. now that i'm not a student i am so happy to have time to read for pleasure. i've been reading at home and on the subway and it is definitely a highlight of life. this year i hope to finally exceed my thirty book goal.

put away electronics.

i'm attempting to check social media a little less and i'm especially trying to put away my phone and laptop a while before i go to bed at night. i've always struggled with insomnia, but i'm sure it's compounded by my using electronics before bed. i think putting away my phone and laptop will rest my eyes and help me unwind and relax. i also waste a lot of time on the internet when i could be reading or otherwise productive, so i'm going to try to spend that time on worthier activities.

essentially i want to be very intentional about how i treat my body and how i spend my time. i'm genuinely excited about all of these goals and i think they'll contribute to my feeling happier, healthier, and more fulfilled.

i'm baaaack

hi.

every time we talk on the phone my mom asks me when i'm going to update my blog. i haven't posted on here since may, so that's saying a lot. she's very persistent. this one's for you, mom!

while i was still in school, my life was way busier and arguably more boring than it is now. since moving to the city, though, i have more free time and life is a little more exciting, and i've been feeling like i should document it on here. i love blogs about new york city, so i'm excited mine gets to be one of those now! i always liked writing on this little blog. it feels good to be back.

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it's been a while. life has pretty busy of late but i always miss writing on this little blog. i've been lucky enough to have a lot of cool things going on recently so i'm working on a few different posts to document it all. it's currently 1:30 a.m. but i can't sleep so i figure now's as good a time as any to write a blog post. we're a couple weeks into january and i've still been thinking a lot about resolutions and the new year. honestly, i was pretty glad to see 2013 go. both the happiest and the hardest experiences of my life happened in 2013. i grew a lot and learned a lot but i am so ready for a fresh, new year to fill with life lessons and experiences. i've got a whole bunch of exciting plans for this year—completing an internship, taking the LSAT, applying to law school, and graduating from college, to name a few! listing those all out together is both thrilling and terrifying, just so you know.

i'm a list-loving, resolution-making kind of girl, so of course i have to talk about my new years resolutions too.

1. read the scriptures every day.

2. read 30 books.

3. go to bed earlier.

i really struggle with scripture reading, so my goal this year was not to miss a single day. it's only been three weeks and it has not been easy for me! i'm starting to settle into a better routine and i can see myself getting more out of the scriptures and feeling a change in my daily life. if you want to follow along, i've really been loving this book of mormon instagram account that posts verses to read and a discussion question to think about for every day of the year.

i'm excited to read 30 books this year. that may not seem like a lot, but when you're busy with school and work, it's a challenge. i've noticed, though, that i'm a lot happier when i make some time to read for fun during the busyness of the semester. some of the books i look forward to reading this year are the monuments men, steve jobs, lean in, and the spectacular now.

i'm from a family of night owls who also suffer from insomnia, so i haven't really established good sleeping habits (exhibit a: it is 1:30 a.m.) and this is something i am realizing is so important. i have work/school every day from around 9 a.m. to 5:30 p.m. with maybe an hour break, and so far this semester i have been exhausted! i am obviously failing on this resolution so far, but let it be known that i am giving myself a grandma bedtime from here on out.

on this note, i'm also trying to abide by two general ideas this year. one is taking care of myself and the other is using time wisely. 2013 was a hard year for me health-wise, so this year i really want to take good care of my body and myself. for me this means eating healthier, getting more sleep and more exercise, and taking time to relax. i am also trying to use my time more wisely. i often find time management difficult, so this year i am striving to prioritize and plan and cut out time-wasters and generally make the most of my time. i saw the quote below somewhere on pinterest and i loved it (as beyoncé is my idol) so i threw together a prettier version in photoshop. anyway, i thought it was brilliant and true and a good thing to remember.

let's do this, 2014.

self-reflection

i'm not exactly sure where i'm going with this post, but there are a lot of things i've been thinking about recently in terms of myself and my life and i thought i would write about them here. this semester has been difficult because i've been busy and sick and still dealing with some things that are making life harder, but at the same time i am really enjoying where i'm at right now. most of my classes are on subjects i really love, like modern art, history of photography, art business, and italian, and i think this makes school feel a lot more worthwhile. senior year is exciting because i'm finally figuring out what i'm doing and where i'm going with my life and it feels really good. i've been really discovering what i'm passionate about, and these are exciting things to pursue! i'm working on a lot of things outside of school, like research grants and internship applications and law school preparation (what?!?) and i kind of feel like an adult for the first time.

i've been reflecting on a lot of things in the past couple of weeks. today my art business class met with artist brian kershisnik, and i was reminded of some of his works that i really admire and connect with (constellations and she will find what is lost, above). i think these paintings pretty beautifully illustrate some of the things i've been thinking about. general conference last week was incredible and just what i needed. something i know to be true is that the lord is mindful of us and what we are going through. every time i feel alone or overwhelmed or frustrated or sad, the lord reminds me with some tender mercy that he loves me completely and knows me perfectly. i really encourage you to read or listen to the general conference talks if you have not yet had a chance to, because i promise that they contain personal answers for each of us and they are words the lord wants us to hear. my favorites were elder holland's like a broken vessel and president uchtdorf's you can do it now. i think those are such important messages but we forget them pretty easily sometimes. i am grateful for inspired leaders and a heavenly father who loves us. i'll leave you with these beautiful words from president monson and elder holland:

"that love never changes. it is there for you when you are sad or happy, discouraged or hopeful. god's love is there for you whether or not you feel you deserve it. it is simply always there."

"above all, never lose faith in your father in heaven, who loves you more than you can comprehend."

on not knowing

photo of andrew wyeth's christina's world from a visit to the MoMA

i've been pretty absent from the blog front lately, mostly because these past few months have been really hard. i've been going through some things that are truly challenging and this semester has been a struggle. through the years i've probably had a million sunday school lessons on trials and being tested and growing from these experiences and those are great, but in the moment, it's not easy to see how you're going to learn and grow and appreciate these hardships later on. right now i'm in the middle of this, and it sucks and it's hard and i don't know why it's happening to me or when it's going to be over.

not knowing is hard. being in the middle of something so difficult and not knowing why is tough. i don't know when this will get easier or be over or what i'm supposed to learn from it, and that is really frustrating.

but in thinking about all this, i've realized that not knowing is what allows us to have faith. i came across this talk recently, and found it really comforting. there may be a lot of things i don't know, but there are some things i'm sure about. the important things. i know that my heavenly father loves me and that he has a plan for me. i know that he's aware of me and mindful of what i'm going through. i know that he's there to help me through this.

i do know that whosoever shall put their trust in god shall be supported in their trials, and their troubles, and their afflictions. alma 36:3

i may not know everything, but he does. he knows exactly what i need and what's best for me. and you know what? as long as i'm sure of that, i'm okay with not knowing.